Michelle In Hysterics, Go Ahead, Have a Laugh…

I cannot remember the last time I burst into hysterics. Spittle dripping from my mouth, tears streaming down my face, shrill screams of unintelligible words… Maybe I was 3 or 4… Until tonight. Sat down with 3 mini-Reeses cups, ate 2, opened the 3rd. A few chocolate crumbs on the top, so I licked it, then I pulled back the inner wrapper, only to find a WORM. 😭😳😩🤮🤢 I threw it out of my hands as if it had been a flaming spider and started screaming at the top of my lungs with tears bursting from my eyes, “A worm, a worm, I just ate worms, I know it, I just know it 😭😭😭😭” Leah, comes to the side of my chair, kneeling down trying to comfort me and also figure out what I was saying, then after looking at the offending article on the carpet, laughing instead. Meanwhile I can’t get my breath like a toddler having a fit. I’m in Full. Blown. Hysterics. and she ends up ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING, LITERALLY. She then says she’s certain it was a “one off” thing and goes to check the other #Reeses in our candy dish and takes them over to the trash; she makes it through like 3, “see I told you there weren’t any more, none of these have worms, you didn’t eat any worms.” Me standing there with a blanket still around me for comfort, still sniffling from my tears of hysterics, not convinced, watch as she opens one more and she pauses… Me: “oh my gosh, it’s a worm, I KNEW it, I ate worms!” (More tears) Leah, unable to hold back her mirth, goes, “yeah, but it’s only a little one.” Me: “I ate worms 😭😭😭” Leah, laughing. Uncle Jac “Well let’s just hope they don’t grow inside of you.” 😒😒😒 Not funny.

So, for anyone wanting to know what the breaking point is for the brave Ohio farm girl who can put a deer she’s hit with her car out of it’s misery with a knife, then haul it to the woods, butcher chickens and pigs, castrate piglets, move loads of manure, use a chainsaw, wire a house, solder plumbing fittings, fix breaks, use power tools, build a deck and keep bees… It’s maggots in food. I didn’t know a 4 year old lived inside my body, apparently she does, and she can’t handle maggots.

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